Mitch (David Hasselhoff)'s preteen-aged son, Hobie, falls in love with a
girl who he is told is from Portland, and visiting Malibu as part of
the "junior lifeguard exchange program." Of course that's ridiculous
and, characteristically, the show only sees fit to insult your
intelligence occasionally and in short bursts. As such, we find the
little girl is actually terminally ill and, through the Make A Wish
Foundation, is fulfilling a lifelong dream. That dream? To save
someone's life. Ahhhh, see? Uh huh.
Full disclosure: most scenes not insulting your intelligence are montages of beach life. Moving on.
So Hobie ends up saving her life first, for which she becomes determined
to return the favor. All the while two totally incongruous
relationships have suddenly formed; one between lifeguards and "best
friends" Summer and Matt (or is it Craig? The actor was on this and
Melrose Place. No wait, the Craig from Baywatch left after season 1. He
was cool though.), and Mitch and Summer's mom Jackie, the worst actress
on the show. These sudden romantic entanglements are constructs of only
this episode, serve only to fill one montage and make Mitch sympathetic
to Hobie's hormonal dilemma, respectively, and end as jarringly as the
obtuse exposition scenes would have us believe they began.
CJ (Pamela Anderson) is not featured except in (hilarious 90's) street
clothes talking whimsically about love and the "legend of Lover's Cove"
(which is not a real legend or place): that a church on the hillside
rings its bells and if you are to kiss someone during said cacophony,
you will remain amorously entangled "forever". Hobie overhears this and,
convincing the girl to go along, they somehow manage to procure a
Baywatch wave-runner and find themselves in an awkward, tight-lipped
little kid kiss.
So enthralled is he by this experience that Hobie leaps into the sea,
whereupon he is promptly stung by a jellyfish, necessitating rescue. Of
course, the actual life-saving professionals have noticed their absence,
CJ has used her keen mental skills to ascertain the likelihood of their
absconding to Lover's Cove, and are already on the way. So the little
girl, who we learned earlier shouldn't be swimming at all, who was
allowed by The Make A Wish Foundation to train for less than 5 minutes
as a junior lifeguard, saves the life of a drowning main character.
They're both exceedingly happy (presumably they know their having a
harrowing adventure will excuse them from any kind of disciplinary
action, because apparently it does) and quickly the scene wraps itself
up.
Afterwords Mitch, deciding he should have been straight from the
beginning, tells Hobie about the little girl's condition (it's worsened,
big surprise) and that she is to be returning to Portland that very
night. Hobie and the girl are allowed one last moment together to say
goodbye, have a heartfelt exchange and a second awkward kiss, and in
doing so learn the adult lesson that memories last forever. I think?
There was no slow-motion cheesecake, random characters were in love for
no reason, there were no sleazy rock tunes in the montages, and
Hasselhoff didn't punch out a single scumbag. Whereas most episodes have
the unmistakable hallmarks of a male writer, this one did not.
